Storefront City

WHAT: Phobophobia 13
WHEN: 25 October – 2 November, 2019 (6pm-10pm)
WHERE: The London Bridge Experience (2-4 Tooley Street, London, SE1 2SY)
PRICE: £31-60

OUR RATING: Chance It!

This year, we returned to The London Bridge Experience for Halloween and their latest iteration of the attraction, Phobophobia 13, after attending a similar event several seasons ago. With the term phobophobia meaning the fear of phobias and the sensations associated with those phobias, and mentions of monsters, clowns, snakes, insects and more, we were quite excited to see what the most central to London Halloween maze had to offer.

We remember creepy performers and hospital beds rolling down the street as we queued up last time for the event, but this year they had a much different approach – karaoke? With lyrics projected onto tunnel walls, a very entertaining Steampunk gent invited the crowds to sing along with popular songs. Most of the line seemed to enjoy it during the long wait to enter the attraction, but it mainly had us really confused how karaoke – and not even Halloween themed karaoke – had anything to do with the attraction, nor did it prime us to anticipate anything scary!

Perhaps due to the popularity of the event, the organizers chose to put everyone in groups of ten to enter the maze – this is by far the greatest number of people in a single group we have experienced, and in our opinion much too large to be able to traverse a haunt properly.

There are two parts of the maze, an upstairs themed space, which we assume changes drastically depending on the theme that year, and the lower London Tombs, which itself becomes part of the maze. While the first intake room with snakes was a bit of a miss (and we wonder how pleasant for the snakes involved), we soon entered a seance calling forth a victim of Jack the Ripper; a thoroughly unsettling happening. The upstairs as a whole was a bit hit or miss, with the most unappealing part of the night being a hillbilly wedding where a character physically and somewhat sexually harassed one of the men in our group. Perhaps it was supposed to be creepy and funny, but it was just really off-putting!

The best part of the night was once we got through the first half of the maze and entered into the tombs, which are such an amazing setting for a haunt. However, there was a downside – here we were asked to put our hands on the shoulder of the person in front of us. Little did we know then, but the rest of our group were so terrified that we basically jogged the entire way through the maze in order to keep up with everyone in front of us – thereby missing most of what the lower part of the tombs had to offer.

However, what we did experience was quite hair-raising, with actors emitting terrifying shrieks and groans, and emerging out of the most unassuming places. Another huge difference with this maze compared to the others we’ve attended this year is that not only did these actors touch us, they grabbed us, and two creatures completely physically overwhelmed one of the girls in front of us who had gotten cut off from the rest of the group (again, since everyone was basically running, there is only so much we could all do to hang on and keep up!) Since we’ve gone to so many no-touch mazes this year already (usually our preference), having the actors touch us was so surprisingly terrifying.

Final Thoughts: In terms of haunts, we can’t say that Phobophobia 13 has been our absolute favorite this year. However, if you are limited to London it is by far your best option for a scare maze in the centre of the city. The experience is possibly contingent upon your group attitude: if they decide to run through the maze, the price of admission might be considered a tad steep. If, however, they are willing to absorb the terrors within like a fine Amontillado, best savored, you will have a far better adventure.

P.S.: If you are able to travel a small while outside London, Tulleys Shocktober Fest is where you want to head for a night of trepidation and terror.